iamaneviltaco

I'm probably going to be using buzznet more for social networking than anything. I had an experience yesterday during my posting flurry where the database refused to recognize my account for hours and hours, and what should have been a 20 recipe spree turned into a 10 minute write up and an hour and a half of trying to post it.

My new food blog can be found here:

http://iamaneviltaco.livejournal.com/

Ok, guys. I have a confession to make. I know a bunch of you think I don't know how to make dessert. I've stated a bunch of times to my real life friends that I don't like sweet things, and that I can't bake dessert because I have no taste for it.

That's not entirely true.

This one is drawing on a lot of my cooking skills at once. Skill with alcohol, cream manipulation, and the most important aspect: plating. This dish really only works if you put it on the plate in an amazing, beautiful fashion.

If this doesn't make you hungry, you're not human.

Ingredients:
1 cup heavy cream
3/4 cup whole milk
1/4 cup creme de cacao (not the dark stuff, white chocolate godiva liqueur would work, too, really.)
3/4 cup sugar
1 package unflavored gelatin

sauce:
1 tblsp sugar
at least 1 1/2 cups of raspberries
2 tblsp triple sec
1 tsp lemon juice

Grab some ramekins. If you have no ramekins, buy ramekins. If you're feeling romantic, this looks amazing in a martini glass. Personally, though, I prefer it turned out.

Warm up a sauce pan, medium heat. Put the milk in the saucepan, and sprinkle the gelatin over it. Stir it until the gelatin breaks down and dissolves. Add the cream, creme de cacao, and 1/3rd of a cup of the sugar. Reduce the heat to low, and stir until the sugar's broken up. Take it off the heat, cool it, and pour it into ramekins or glasses. Cover it, and refrigerate it for at least 6 hours.

In another sauce pan, heat 1 1/2 cups of the raspberries, triple sec, lemon juice, and the rest of the sugar. Stir it until the sugar's dissolved and the raspberries are all soft and gooey. Then, pour it through a seive and press it down to get all of the juice out of the raspberries. There's the topping.

To pull the Panna Cotta out of the mold, just soak your ramekins in hot water for a few seconds to loosen the dessert, and invert onto a plate. To top this, there are 3 ways you can do it that I find appealing. Obviously, experiment.

The first is to lay down a pool of the sauce, and plop the panna cotta on top of it. Use a spatula to invert the panna cotta. Top it with a few fresh raspberries. The second is to plate the panna cotta, and do what is in the picture, and garnish it with a few raspberries beside it. The third is nouvelle cuisine. Plate the panna cotta, and run a line of the sauce around the outside edge of the plate, 3/4ths of the way around the plate, and throw a few dots of sauce off of one of the edges, then put a small swirl of the sauce on top of the panna cotta. The nouvelle cuisine looks the best, obviously, setting it on the base of the sauce probably has the best flavor. The picture is a good marriage of the 2.

For other dressings to this, shave a bit of milk chocolate and white chocolate and dress the top of the panna cotta with them. You can also go with a tiny dollop of chocolate ice cream.

Take out the liqueur and you can really do anything with this base. Panna cotta is only limited by what you can dream up, and it's a great base to experiment with cooking with alcohol.

This was my favorite food as a child. I decided to try to update it a bit for grown ups, and convert it from a traditionally breakfast-centric food to something you can serve for dinner. I'm taking this to another level, with the optional ingredient. I call it optional, but it really makes a hell of a difference. It's only optional if you can't afford it or can't buy it for some reason.

Ingredients
Biscuts (big, flaky ones. You can make your own, but really the ones in the tins are just easier for the same results.)
1 lb breakfast sausage
6 tblsp flour
3.5 cups whole milk (skim really doesn't like to work for this, the flavor is off)
~1 to 1.5 cups yellow pearl onions. to steal a phrase from my nemesis, you can eyeball this. It's really to your own tastes.
~1 cup button bellas, or chopped crimini mushrooms (baby bellas, but I think crimini sounds cooler. the button bellas are way better for this, though, because then you have bite sized onions and mushrooms. it makes for a nicer presentation.)
1 clove garlic, chopped
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp ground sage
1 tsp paprika
optional (but not really) a shot of burbon
ground pepper to taste, it'll need a decent bit

Put the sausage, onions, mushrooms, and garlic in the biggest pan you can find. Mix it up, break it up, smush it around, and generally show it who's boss. Brown the sausage well, making sure none of the insides are pink (since you're breaking it up as you go, this should be easy). When it's good and browned, add the flour. Some people say add it slowly, I'm an advocate of dump it all in and stir like your life depends on it.

You want to let the flour cook for a few minutes. I'd say at least 2-3. You want it good and toasted, so your gravy doesn't taste like unbaked bread.After you've good and toasted the flour, start adding the milk. You want to do this a cup at at a time, and stir it nice and well to break up the flour, and thicken. add some milk, let it cook for a minute or 2, then add another. When you're at 3 cups, you'll need to adjust the last bit of milk for a thickness you like. I suggest a half a cup. You may be ok with just the 3, or go up to 4. It's all a matter of preference at that point.

After you've added all of the milk, add in the spices, and the shot of burbon. Cook for an extra minute or 2, to let the alcohol cook off and let the flavors mingle.

Split the biscuts in half, and spoon a big helping of this stuff over them. You can garnish with fresh chopped parsley, to break up the color a bit and give it some life. A quick sprinkle (half a pinch) of paprika wouldn't go bad for presentation, either.

Ooo. Fish. Fish has always seemed a bit mystical to me, most people I know never cook the stuff. A good tuna steak is pretty cheap, and very tasty. It's great way to get into cooking a good cut of fish, and the fresh peppers are just coming into season, which means they'll be cheap and yummy.

Ingredients:
~3 cups de-seeded chopped tomato (any will work, here. Pick one you like)
1/2 cup chopped cilantro leaves
2 jalapeno chiles, seeded and chopped
1 clove minced garlic
1 small green bell pepper, chopped
1 small yellow bell pepper, chopped
5 tblsp lime juice
1 tsp olive oil
4 boneless skinless tuna steaks

In a bowl, mix the tomatoes, peppers, cilantro, chiles, garlic, and 2 tblsp of the lime juice. Cover, and let it hang out for a while so the flavors mix. I'd make this the night before, if possible.

Mix the remaining lime juice with the oil. Rinse the fish and pat it dry, then brush both sides with the lime mixture. Fire up your grill for medium heat, and slap some olive oil on the grill's grate so the fish doesn't stick. Cook for about a minute and a half, flip, then cook for another 2 minutes. It should be browned but still a pale pink in the center.

Put it on a plate, top it with the salsa. Easy.

Kebabs are a grilling classic. In the broiler or on the stove, you can never go wrong with putting meat on a stick and applying fire. I know everyone knows the classics, steak peppers and onions etc... so we're going to get a bit classy. I'm on an orange kick, because I love the summer fruits, so we'll do another orange dish. Why the hell not, right? Let's get a bit asian, as well, so we can back off the italian and cajun trend I've been stuck on since I started this.

Ingredients:
3/4 tsp grated orange zest (that's the colorful part on the skin)
1/3 cup orange juice
3 tblsp firmly packed brown sugar
2 tblsp soy sauce (try to get the low sodium type if possible. Better for you that way)
4 tsp minced ginger
4 tsp red wine vinegar
1 tblsp sesame oil. You can use peanut oil in a pinch, or canola.
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander. You can sub oregano if you don't have coriander.
1 1/2 lbs boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes
1 medium pineapple, peeled and cored and cut into 1 inch cubes
a bunch of green onions, chopped into inch long sections.
sesame seeds
Sharp sticks or kebab skewers.

In a bowl, mix the zest, juice, sugar, soy sauce, ginger, vinegar, oil, sesame seeds, and coriander. Mix in the chicken and let it sit for at least a half hour, at most 2. If you're using wooden kebab sticks, soak them in water while you're marinating the chicken. It looks prettier that way, they don't scorch as much.

Take the chicken out of the marinade and start the skewers. Do a piece of chicken, a piece of pineapple. a piece of chicken, a green onion.

Fire up the grill (or broiler) for high heat. Throw these on the fire or under the broiler for 6 minutes, brushing occasionally with the leftover marinade. Flip them once, then do 6 more minutes, continuing to baste them in the marinade. After 12 minutes, they should be done. cut into a piece of chicken to check.

This is GREAT summer food. Also, it's rather good for you and great for people on restricted diets or diabetics. I'm particularly proud of the dressing, it's sweet and tangy, with just a touch of heat. The meat here is variable. Chicken is good, pork is also great, and I'll bet you could get away with salmon, as well. shrimp would be excellent, too.

Ingredients:
boneless skinless chicken tenders (or breasts cut into strips. cut the breasts in half, and slice them height-wise, with the grain of the meat), about 1 lb.
about 3 large oranges, completely de-seeded and with all of the white cut off, cut into sections.
fresh baby spinach leaves, rinsed
1 tblsp minced garlic
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon oregano
2.5 tblsp olive oil
2 tblsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp dijon mustard
1/4 cup orange juice
optional: sliced almonds

Put the spinach and orange slices in a bowl. Heat 1 tblsp of the olive oil in a pan on medium-high heat. Add the chicken, oregano, garlic, and chili powder, and a bit of black pepper. Cook, stirring frequently, until the chicken is fully cooked. About 5-7 minutes. Cut it open to test.

After the chicken is done, pull it from the pan and set it aside. Mix the remaining olive oil with the orange juice and pour them into the pan, breaking up those little tasty bits on the bottom. Cook for a few minutes, maybe 3, to reduce the dressing a bit, then pour it into a container and add in the vinegar and mustard. Mix well. Slice the chicken along the grain of the meat into thin strips. 1/4 of an inch thick at the most, you want them big enough to get some bite, but small enough that you'd be able to eat one and get some of the rest of the salad as well.

To serve, put the combination of spinach and oranges on a plate, top with a heaping pile of the chicken, and drizzle the orange vinaigrette over the top of the whole thing.

Optional: Take out a frying pan, and heat it on high heat. Put nothing in it to lubricate, and toss in a big handfull of sliced almonds. Shake the pan around real well and mix up the almonds, cooking for about 2-3 minutes until they start to brown. Pour them over the top of the salad as garnish.

This is classic. I'm an advocate of mixing your own spice blends to better control the salt content, and so you know exactly how your spices interact. I find that spices you mix yourself are way more flavorful than store-bought mixes. This is a generic cajun-style seasoning. It's great for blackening meats, or adding a bit of heat and depth to just about any dish.

Ingredients:
equal portions of the following. You'll probably want to stick to all dried herbs for this one.
cayenne pepper
onion powder
oregano
paprika
thyme
black pepper
optional: chipotle powder

Easy stuff. Mix it together thoroughly, and put it in either a salt shaker (label it, if you're like me eventually you'll have 800 various seasoning mixes, and confusing your cajun seasoning for your carribean jerk seasoning is a messy thing when you're making cajun alfredo.) or an empty spice container (bonus points for putting it in a cajun spice container).

Now, since this was such a quick post, I'll fill you in on a secret. "Blackened" does not mean burn it. Blackened catfish or chicken is not supposed to actually be black. The process of blackening is to lightly toast the herbs on the outside of the meat on medium-high heat, to extract more flavor. If it's golden brown, you're great. If it's actually black, you're overdoing it. To blacken something on a grill, you want a good heat, and you want to place the meat directly above the fire. Cook it for about 2-3 minutes a side, until the herbs are toasted, and then move it to the edges of the grill, away from the direct fire, or to the top rack for propane grills. Finish the meat off with indirect heat. THAT is blackened meat. If you're served anything else, they did it wrong. Look at the picture for a reference of what blackened spices SHOULD look like.

Keeping in the theme of light, summery italian cuisine, here's an amazing starter that can be quickly fired on a grill, or just tossed together before dinner. It's great date food, and criminally simple. Omit the topping and you have bruschetta classica, or real authentic italian garlic bread.

Ingredients:
diced de-seeded tomatoes (Again, I go with campari. Plum tomatoes would be great here, as well.)
sliced thick crusted italian bread, about 1/2 inch thick.
1 clove of garlic, peeled
extra virgin olive oil
chopped basil (stack all of the basil, roll it into a tube, and then chop it. This is called julienne, and I find it provides maximum flavor and great texture, because of the long thin strips)
salt and pepper to taste

So, start off by toasting the bread in your broiler, a toaster oven, or on a grill. Grill it till it's golden brown. While it's toasting, mix together the tomatoes, basil, enough olive oil to coat the mixture without making it insanely soggy, and the salt and pepper. TASTE. That's the only way to be sure you've got a good mix. I'd give you portions, but this is really a make it how you like it kind of dish.

PROTIP: I keep a small container of diced tomatoes onhand, constantly, so I don't need to mess with dicing anything when I want to make a chunky sauce, salsa, or bruschetta.

After the bread is toasted, rub it (you'll feel silly, but it really does work) with the clove of garlic, gently. Then sprinkle the olive oil onto the bread, getting it a bit moist but being careful not to make it too soggy. Stop here, and you have traditional italian garlic bread. This is real bruschetta, the authentic basic recipe doesn't have the tomatoes. So, if a restaurant claims their bruschetta al pomodoro is just bruschetta, laugh at them like a good food snob.

For bruschetta al pomodoro, spoon a good helping of the herbed tomato mixture onto the bread. Simple enough.

Variations on this are many. I suggest away from vinaigrettes, as they can overpower the sweet simplicity of the tomatoes and basil, and hide the garlic entirely. The authentic italian style stuff never uses vinegar. The best variation I feel you can do is simply to chop up a clove of garlic and toast it lightly in a pan, in a tiny bit of olive oil, and mix it in to the tomatoes, then add in some grated fresh parmigiana reggio cheese. If you must add a bit more spice to it, I suggest fresh chopped oregano, in a very small quantity.

If you're taking this to a barbecue, mix together the topping beforehand and bring it in a bag in a cooler, fire the bread on the grill, and continue as normal. This, at a cookout, would be unexpected. In the land of potato salad, the bruschetta reigns supreme.

This is a simple and traditional italian classic. It's guaranteed to wow at any bbq, and will take you a half of a second to prepare if you're fast with a knife. This is somewhat a hallmark of italian cooking. Sweet and flavorful, the simplicity of the dish lets the ingredients shine. The aesthetics of the dish are designed to match the colors of the italian flag.

Ingredients:
Sliced tomatoes (for most of these style of dishes I recommend campari on the vine tomatoes. Vine ripened tomatoes are sweeter, fresher, and I find the taste to be incomparable. Traditionally, insalata caprese is made with plum tomatoes. I find the campari tomatoes to be a better match. Slice them a bit thick.)
sliced mozarella (really, the higher quality the better. round is more aesthetically pleasing, and balls of mozarella tend to be higher quality)
fresh basil (chop it if you wish, I find whole leaves to be more aesthetically appealing. Get the small leaf variety. The big hydroponic leaves are less flavorful, and are better used in cooked dishes)
extra virgin olive oil
ground pepper to taste (some people use salt, I find the mozarella provides all the salt you need. Traditionally salt is added, so use your own judgement. I say try it my way first, then adjust the salt to your pallate)

This is more of an arrangement than a cooking process. Slice the tomatoes and mozarella to about the same thickness, and place them on a plate. you want to follow the color theme of the flag of italy. So, place a tomato slice, place some mozarella, then place a basil leaf. Repeat in a ring around the edge of the plate, then put another, smaller circle of this arrangement in the center. Garnish the very middle of the dish with a few leaves of basil, still attatched together. I usually use a sprig of 3 small leaves.

Drizzle the whole thing with a light sprinkle of extra virgin olive oil, and grind some fresh pepper onto it. You don't want this to sit in the oil for an amazing amount of time, so I'd suggest if you're bringing it to a bbq, take a bit of olive oil with you in an empty water bottle or something and cover the hole with your thumb, leaving a tiny opening for you to shake the oil out of.

I suggest against vinegar, or a vinaigrette, for this recipe. It might taste ok, and isn't awful, but you're burying all of the subtle flavors and complexities of the basic dish.

Time to step back from the "crap you can cook on a bbq" and switch over to "crap you can cook on an open fire". I'm not only an evil taco, I'm also an equal opportunity taco.

This is a classic chili, I pulled it out of a cook book from 1957 and the only changes I made to it are things like translating "no. 2 can" to something that will actually make sense, and adding an ingredient or 2 that it actually made me violently angry the original author omitted.

Ingredients
1 large sweet onion, medium chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
3 tblsp olive oil
1 lb beef tips (pre cut for braising, ground beef will work in a pinch but I prefer the texture of the beef tips)
1 green bell pepper, deseeded and chopped small
2 cups chopped tomatoes (can be canned)
2 cups kidney beans (drained)
1/4 cup corn
2 tblsp cumin
2 tblsp oregano (fresh will make this a lot better)
1 tblsp chili powder
1 tblsp cayenne pepper
optional: 2 shots of whiskey
salt and pepper to taste (I use a tblsp)

Sautee the onion and garlic in the oil for about 5 minutes, until the onion starts to go clear. Add the meat and stir, until the meat is no longer pink, then 2 minutes past that. Add all of the rest of the stuff. Cover, and cook slowly for 45 minutes or so. Taste it, and mess with the seasoning however you want. If it's too runny, uncover it and raise the heat a bit. Serve either by itself or over rice. Garnish with cheddar cheese.

To do this on a fire, what you want to do is throw the pot on the fire when the fire's built a good ember, and the base of the fire is a bright red, but the flames have died off a tiny bit. You're probably going to have to throw at least 1 more log on the fire while cooking this. My recommendation is use smaller sticks so you can control the temperature better. You'll have to fiddle with it more often, but you'll get a lot more of an even temperature that way.

This chili is like crack, possibly the best I've ever tasted that didn't involve 3 hours of cooking and all fresh chili spices. The whiskey really does jack up (heh.) the flavor a lot. It's optional, but I strongly suggest it.

This dish, more than ANY, I suggest messing with. The type of meat, take out the meat, add some carrots, use red onions, try some chipotle pepper, substitute black beans for the kidney beans, etc.... Chili really is a standard. Every chef should know how to make it, and make it well. Every chef, as well, should have their own chili recipe. Just don't be one of those secret ingredient douchebags. Good food exists to be shared.

Dolma are a Turkish dish, primarily, although regional varieties exist throughout the mediterranean. They are stuffed vegetables, usually filled with rice and a form of meat. The vegetable (or fruit) varies wildly as well. Common veggies to stuff are peppers, egg plants, zucchino, grape leaves, and cabbage leaves. There are dozens of things to fill these with, but really the only limit is your imagination. Interesting bit of trivia: Cook them without meat and they're called yalanci dolma, which literally means fake or liar dolma. I guess the turkish don't think very highly of vegetarians.

These are great bbq food, and are pretty well guaranteed to surprise guests, since they're pretty far above the typical meat and corn fare you usually find at a bbq. The variation we're working with today, because I feel playful, is an italian dolma.

Stuffing:
1 lb ground beef
1 sweet onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 tsp fresh chopped oregano
1 tsp fresh chopped parsley
1/4 cup uncooked rice (not the minute kind)
salt and pepper to taste

Mix it all together in a large mixing bowl.

Cut into the top of a tomato (the bigger the better, here), being careful to leave the top still attached, and scoop out all of the seeds. Stuff, and add 2 tblsp of water, about 1/4-1/2 tsp of butter on top of the stuffing, under the cap. Put the cap back in place, and brush the whole thing with olive oil.

On the grill, or in the oven, use medium heat and cook these for about a half hour. In the oven, cook them on a greased baking sheet at about 400 degrees. On the grill? Top rack is better. Open these things up about halfway through cooking. If they look a bit dry, add some more water.

Your humble taco is about to be featured on a cooking website. I posted a few recipes, and now when I get the digicam back and a few volunteers to eat some yumminess (and photograph it) I'm one step closer to the cookbook.

The taco is pleased.

I suppose this was unavoidable. Grill or stove, searing and cooking a steak is exactly the same. Same temperature range, cooking style, rest period, and seasoning.

This tutorial neglects the finer points of braising, slow roasting, stewing, and a lot of other techniques. We're working on a grilled steak, these tips are only valid for that style.

*Selecting a steak

Key. Overall, the first thing you want to see is marbling. Streaks of white through the fiber of the meat. Lots of them, well distributed. The fat will render as the meat cooks, and leave an amazing flavor. There is debate about the health aspects, but we're mainly concerned with taste.

The meat should be vibrantly red, with no grey on it AT ALL. Firm to the touch. Not slimy. It should smell slightly sweet. For fatty cuts like a porterhouse, you want to look for a good chunk of fat on the outer wall of the steak. Cook it with the fat, then cut off the fat if it bothers you.

Bone in steaks should have marrow, and fat deposits outside of the main matrix of the meat. Glob of fat on the outside of a t-bone is good. Near the bone is good. In the middle of the cut? Less good. Marrow is flavor, so the center of the bone should have some room to it and a good bit of marrow.

*Seasoning

Simple is good. Use an herb or 2 to bring out the flavor, rosemary and garlic are neat, as are roasted red peppers and sweet onions. Let the meat shine, however. Don't overseason. Throw the spice mixes out of your window.

Pepper the steak, as a rule, but salt? I'll cover that in a bit.

*Cooking

So that salt? Leave it out of the initial rub. This is why we avoid the pre-packaged seasonings.Salt on a steak, before cooking, retards the sealing process of the meat. Salt water boils at a different temperature than normal water, and we want the searing process to be a slow one. Salt water boils a bit faster, and burns hotter. So will your steak. That extra heat transfer will make the steak tough, with a tender core. We want a tender steak with a firm shell. Every drop of salt you add  pre-sear leads to a nastier steak.

Rule 1: Don't touch the freaking steak.

Seriously. Put the tongs down. Flip the steak twice. Once, when the cook line (look at the side of the beef. See the color creeping up? That is your friend. There is a line. Watch it.) Reaches just past halfway up the steak. Salt the steak after the flip. Again, when the cook line disappears and the steak is a uniform color. A third time, after 2 minutes, flip it onto a plate. This is a perfect medium steak, seasoned side up.

I refuse to teach a rare steak. Med. rare is a minute less. Well done? add 2 more minutes to the final flip. *Always* cut open a steak before you eat it until you learn to touch it and feel when it's done.

Rule 2: It's more cooked than you think.

The steak may feel a bit too rare when you take it off the fire, but if you're cooking for a group or waiting to serve it the cooking process continues. What was rare, 4 minutes ago, is now racing toward medium. Meat fibers continue to expand long after they've been removed from heat, and they are sensitive. Hence: don't touch the freaking meat until it needs to be flipped.

Let the meat sit for 3 minutes after leaving the grill before you serve it. The heat cooks off and the fibers of the meat can breathe a bit, making it more tender.

Rule 3: Turn the heat down.

You're not godzilla, and you're not trying to burn down Tokyo with your radiation breath. The fire? Doesn't need to be so high. With coals you want a bit of ash, and a good ember. With a gas grill or stove? medium heat. Meat fibers, again, are sensitive creatures. You want a sizzle to your steak, if it doesn't hiss when it hits the fire take it off and make the fire bigger, but after the meat is sealed the rest of the cooking doesn't need to be so intense. Many chefs advocate a quick sear, removal from the fire, then cooking at a lower heat to bring out the juices, since they can't escape the outer wall of the steak. I fully agree.

A 2 parter for this one. Great bbq food, and it's easy to feed an army with this.

part 1: Salsa Verde


Salsa verde is a tangy, sweet, flavorful salsa. It's a lot more mild than traditional salsa, by default, but it's incarnations are as varied as it's more famous counterpart.

Ingredients:
about 15 tomatillos, quartered (mexican food section, unless you're in the southwest you're buying canned. If you find fresh, husk them)
1/2 cup chopped green chiles (if fresh, de-skin and de-seed. ancho or poblano preferred. if fresh, roast them in the oven on about 300 until they start to get soft and peel them.)
1 medim white onion, chopped
1 bundle of cilantro
1 tsp light oil. sesame preferred
1 tblsp lime juice
1 deseeded, peeled jalapeno (I use the jarred kind)
1 shallot, cut in quarters
salt to taste (I use 1/2 tsp)

Put the tomatillos, onions, jalapeno, shallot in food processor and pulse 5 times. add in the rest and chop until slightly chunky but mostly smooth. Refridgerate for at least 2 hours, but better overnight.

part 2: Chicken Skewers



some chicken tenderloins
some wooden skewers
the salsa verde

Scale this as needed, plan on about 2 skewers per person. Thread the chicken, 1 tenderloin per skewer, through the skewers. Take the skewers and marinade them for at least 4 hours in the salsa verde. Put them in a zip lock bag, add marinade, shake them once an hour and flip them over. You want to use about 1/4-1/2 of the verde on the chicken, so you have some left to top these later.

Grill them for about 5 minutes a side on a medium heat. ONLY TOUCH THE SKEWERS TO FLIP THEM. Don't keep messing with them and moving them around, we're looking for scoremarks and meat cooks better if you don't screw with it and just let the fibers break up.

To serve, just top them with a small spoonful of the verde.

Summertime is coming! With it comes the necessary bbq food / pot luck tastiness. I'm going to start with something a bit unorthodox. I figure everyone would expect me to start off with a post about how to properly grill a steak. Well, that's coming. First, though, I'm going to give you something easy and tasty, as well as refreshing, to take out to that first bbq. Gazpacho.


Gazpacho is a cold soup. Think of it more as a very wet salad. It's cool, refreshing, and takes full advantage of all of those amazing vegetables that are just coming into season. Also, it's a great vegan food, so it's safe to bring no matter where you're going.

ingredients
4 cups tomato juice
1 small red onion, minched
1/2 green bell pepper, deseeded and minced
1/2 red bell pepper, deseeded and minced
1 cucumber, chopped
2 cups chopped tomatoes
2 green onions, chopped
1 shallot, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons lemon juice (fresh is better)
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon dried cumin
1 teaspoon basil (fresh preferred, if fresh use 3 tsp and chop it up)
salt and pepper to taste

optional:
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp (or thereabout) lemon zest (take a fine grater to the outside of the lemon and grate off the yellow part until you've got about a pinch.)

This one's easy. Put it all in a blender or food processor and blend until it's well mixed but still a bit chunky. Refridgerate for at least 2-3 hours before you eat it. Overnight is better. The longer it sits the more the flavors mix.

Serve it cold. For bbqs or picnics? Keep it in the cooler under the beer or something.

Mousetrap here. Today I'm going to talk about something that divides people so easily that I firmly believe that one day it'll cause a global war. Pizza. Now this isn't exactly a recipe. Today we're going to discuss the methods one should use when making a pizza. First, and I should mention this for the sake of my good friend who's already tried to beat this over your head, a pizza stone is cheap, and a very, very good investment. Ovens work on cycles, meaning the heat pulses, it waxes and wanes. A stone stores heat and keeps it always at a constant temperature. First the crust. I don't care if you make your own or cheat, like me, and buy prepackaged shells, just be sure its large enough for what you want. The more in the way of toppings you'd like, the larger and thicker the crust should be. Also, don't overdo it with flavor in this step. Mild garlic or other background flavors are fine, but remember this is the foundation, not the star. Thin, Thick, hand-tossed, deep-dish, pan or sicilian, it's all just personal preference.

Well, before you do anything else, you'll be putting down some sauce. If you skip this step, well, you're making cheese bread. There's the traditional pizza sauce, or you might use alfredo, ranch, barbecue, or do what I do, olive oil and chopped herbs. It's okay to like a lot of sauce, but remember to balance it.

Next comes a hotly debated topic. Some people would tell you that the toppings go on the pizza right now. Some would say cheese does. Well, there's advantages and disadvantages to each of these, but the  the truth is without an anchor, everything will slide off your pizza when your friends try to eat it. Assuming this isn't your goal, a very thin layer of cheese goes on the pizza at this point. Normally one would use a Mozzarella, Romano, and Parmesan blend, but nobody's set this in stone. Experiment to find the taste you prefer. Next, select your toppings, preferrably the smaller, thinner ones, and lay about a third to a half. Next, another layer of cheese. Yes, in the debate of "toppings on bottom versus toppings on top" I'm telling you to be conservative and go for "both". Next lay your thicker toppings like chicken or ham, and for god's sake balance them evenly across the whole pizza. Afterward, another thin layer of cheese to secure the meat or veggies while you're slicing or eating.

I've mentioned balance a lot today. That's because a good pizza -is- balanced, flavor, size, cheese, and topping. It may sound stupid or corny, but for inspiration, look to other foods and try to turn them into a pizza. Big pizza conglomerates do this constantly, so there's no debate as to whether this works or not. Cheeseburger pizza, with cheddar cheese, cooked ground beef, and a hint of bacon, is one of my favorites.

Time for some authentic tacos. The stuff we call a taco here, while yummy as hell, is so far from the real deal it's like using ketchup on spaghetti and calling it italian. The ingredients for this are moderately low priced, but can feed an army for what you spend and last forever. Also, since it's an assembly line, you can fire off dozens of these for a big party with no issues.

ingredients
my chorizo
coarse chopped cilantro
diced tomatoes
diced red onion
small soft taco shells
grated hard, bitter cheese like parmesan or asadero, must be fresh and not pre-grated.

The equation here is simple. first, one round tblsp of chorizo as a mound in the middle of the shell. Then, 1 tsp of cilantro. 1 tsp of the shredded cheese. Top it off with a tsp of combined chopped onion and tomato.

Authentic mexican uses cilantro like we use lettuce. Lettuce is more expensive there, because of poor growing conditions. Also, I have, in my travels, NEVER seen cheddar on a taco in mexico. Even jack is cut down heavily with a firm bitter cheese, since jack needs to be refrigerated and the firm cheeses can be stored on a shelf for a lot longer than jack can be kept, even cold.

This came up at random on my forum, so I figured I'd make a little post about it. I grew up in New York. We, arguably, have the best delis on the planet. An argument could probably be made about the nouveau delis that are emerging nationwide, but I find the experience of eating at an authentic jewish style ny deli to be one of the most unique culinary experiences you can have while not breaking the bank. The hallmarks of this style of deli are high quality meats and cheeses on enormous sandwiches. for a decently low price. To be sure the deli you're at is authentic, here are a few things to look for.

-Halva

It's a type of mediterranean candy that's usually vaguely hard to find outside of traditional delis and the occasional grocery store. Rather tasty, and with a totally unique texture.

-Nova Lox

Screw smoked salmon. I know that's technically what it is, but a real deli will call it by it's traditional name. A bagel with lox and cream cheese is a new york classic, and a deli that calls it what it is will most likely make it better than other places. Nova, in particular, is higher quality than most of the traditional smoked salmon you can find at lower quality delis. Bonus points if they cut their own.

-Reubens/Rachels

A real classic deli will pride themselves on this sandwich. Either corned beef or pastrami, swiss cheese, thousand island dressing, and either sauerkraut (reuben) or cole slaw (rachel) on rye bread. The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts, and a real quality deli will make this sandwich better than anywhere else, and brag about it. I'm a firm believer that every style of food has a hallmark that you can use to guage the quality of the rest of the food. chinese have their dumplings, indian has it's curry, italian has it's marinara. You can always trust that if these are done well, the rest of the food will be as well.

-Sassy Counter Help


I don't know what it is, but I find if the people behind the counter are sassy and not afraid to mess with the customers, the food as a rule is usually better. Especially for this type of deli, there's a certain type of attitude that you expect from the people behind the bar. Part of the full experience of a ny style deli is going in, being confused as hell about what to order, and giving/getting a decent ribbing from the people behind the counter. Sassy staff builds a stronger rapport, in my opinion, and if the staff isn't afraid to mess with the customers it brings the feel of the ny deli to life.

-Tongue

Bear with me on this. You don't have to eat it, but a good deli *always* offers grilled beef tongue. It's a hallmark of the genre of cuisine. I've personally never eaten it, but I've never eaten at a deli that carried it and not thoroughly enjoyed the food.

That's basically it. If you find a deli that contains most of these traits, chances are you're at a pretty good deli. If you manage to luck into finding all of them, frequent the hell out of that place. The classic deli is starting to be replaced by some of the more modernized nouveau delis, and while they are a decent experience at times, the traditional deli is a slice of americana that's in real danger of going extinct.

This is supposed to be gourmet, but the recipe is so very easy that I'd be slacking if I didn't share. This tastes MUCH better with home made bread crumbs, and is far cheaper, but in a pinch italian style bread crumbs will suffice. This is a very easy recipe, and a sure-fire date pleaser. I'll give you the recipe for just 1 piece of this tasty as hell main dish, and multiply it as necessary. This is one of my signature dishes. Sub 1/8 cup chopped broccoli flourettes for the ham and you have chicken kiev.

ingredients:

Bread crumbs (1/4 cup should be more than enough)
Eggs (1, scrambled)
1 boneless skinless chicken breast
about 1/8 cup swiss cheese
2-3 pieces of thin sliced deli ham
some tooth picks

So, grab a hammer. I love starting recipes this way. Then, grab a book. A big, heavy book. In a pinch, a baking sheet will do, but I enjoy beating the piss out of war and peace to make yummy food. Take the chicken breast, and put it between 2 big pieces of plastic wrap. Put the book on top of the wrapped chicken, and beat the hell out of the book. I suggest "The DaVinci Code" because I personally think everyone should beat Dan Brown to death with a hammer. Do this until the chicken is very flat.

Preheat your oven to 450.

Take your (now beaten to death) chicken, and put the swiss cheese in the middle of it, leaving a quarter of an inch to any edge. Put the ham in the middle of the cheese, leaving a tiny bit of space, so when you roll this monster of a meat log the ham is surrounded by cheese. fold it in half, and pierce it with the toothpicks along the outer edge, so you do not leave very much of a gap. I personally go through at least 15 toothpicks to seal one wrap. Heat up some oil, the type is unimportant, in a skillet. Medium heat. Dip the whole unit in the egg, making sure to cover every inch. Then, dunk the whole thing in the bread crumbs on a flat plate. COVER EVERY SQUARE INCH. Drop this in the oil and fry for about 5 minutes per side, until the crumbs begin to brown and stick fully to the chicken.  By now, your oven should be heated. Throw the concoction on a baking sheet, and bake for 10 minutes a side. When the cheese begins to ooze, you know the food is just about done. The crumbs should be a beautiful golden brown, and the entire unit should be solid.

To serve, pull out the tooth picks. The dish will hold it's shape. Serve it toothpick side down. Suggested side dishes are either fettucini alfredo, or steamed mixed vegetables. A bechamel roux, using beef stock rather than milk, tossed with rice, is also a great idea.

This one is vaguely time consuming, but the prep is easy as hell and most of the time is bake time. I make this for myself as a snack.

This dish is hoity-toity enough to have an entire style of cooking named after it. It's simple, but amazingly tasty and impressive. French cuisine at it's finest. FYI, for the record, ham first and cheese second imparts a very dull flavor. Look it up online and you'll see countless examples of this. In my mind it's a culinary abortion. Separate the meats and let the cheese blend the flavors of the chicken and ham. The pic I provided is an example of a WRONG cordon bleu. Cheese holds flavor better than meat, as a rule. It'll take in the oils and carry the unique flavors of both meats. It's the binding agent in this dish.

Always a crowd pleaser. Everyone has their own pasta salad recipe, and everyone will always argue that theirs is the best. I don't really make any claims that mine is the absolute best in the world, but I will say that it's tastier than most I've encountered. This is a bit more of an advanced recipe, and takes some time. You're probably looking at a half hour or so, all totalled.

To start, we're going to do a variation of my pesto. What you're gonna do is take out 1/4 cup basil, add 1/4 cup spinach, and about 1/4 cup of sun dried tomatoes, 1/8 cup parmesan cheese, 1 tblsp of lemon juice. Blend it as normal, mixing in all of the ingredients at the very beginning, except the lemon juice which you add at the end. This is my version of a spinach tomato pesto alla genovese. It's rather authentic, except that I don't use fresh grated parmesan.

Next, we're going to move on to my chicken. This can be prepared beforehand and refridgerated, if you don't feel like doing all of this at once. In fact, baking it, chopping it down, drizzling about 1 tsp of olive oil over it, putting it in a bag, and shaking it every once and a while will make the chicken more flavorful.

Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts, boneless/skinless
basil, rosemary, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, all in equal portions
a light oil. olive, canola, or vegetable work well.

Basically what you're going to want to do is brush the chicken with the oil, dust it lightly with the herb mixture and bake it at 450 degrees for about 8-10 minutes a side. Flip once during cooking, and when it appears done, cut it open at the thickest part to make sure it's not still pink in the middle.

Cut it into cubes and put it to the side.

Salad ingredients:
~1 cup spinach tomato pesto alla genovese
the listed recipe for chicken
4 cups bowtie pasta
1 cup broccoli flourettes
2 cups cherry tomatoes/grape tomatoes (your choice)

Boil the broccoli very lightly. You want to take away some of the firmness but not fully cook it. Maybe 3 minutes. Finish boiling the pasta, strain, and run cold water over it to halt the cooking process. Combine the pesto, tomatoes, broccoli, and chicken. You want the pesto to coat evenly but not be too thick and overpowering. It tastes good warm or cold, but is traditionally served cold.

The process by which you want to prepare this dish is as follows: preheat oven, start water. make pesto. bake chicken, start pasta half way through chicken. start broccoli. take out chicken, stop broccoli. cut chicken, strain pasta, mix. eat. love.